Iran Shoots Blanks, SPY Says Thanks

Iran launched missiles at US bases and the market's response was "Sir, this is a Wendy's" - SPY went green faster than you can say inflation is transitory. Meanwhile, Circle's approaching the mythical $300 mark despite having a P/E ratio higher than Snoop Dogg on 4/20, Google's sitting pretty at 18 PE like the responsible adult at a frat party, and Tesla gained 8% for showing off 10 cars with human drivers pretending to be robots.

📈 HOT PLAYS & EMERGING TRENDS

HIMS Put Massacre - Galaxy Brain Territory Some absolute Chad made $260k in two days on HIMS puts right before Novo Nordisk terminated their partnership. HIMS cratered 58% after Novo called them out for using sketchy Chinese ingredients and deceptive marketing. The play was so perfectly timed it's got people screaming insider trading. If you missed this nuclear explosion, the thesis remains solid - HIMS was trading at $20 before weight loss drugs became a thing, and that's exactly where it's heading.

GOOG Value Trap or Generational Buy? Google is trading at an absurd 18.78 PE while Tesla sits at 200 PE. Some degenerate is YOLOing 90% of his $250k into GOOG at $165, targeting $500 in 7 years. The bull case is actually compelling: Waymo destroys Tesla robotaxis in real-world deployment, Gemini AI has 10x ChatGPT's token limit, and they own the best data moat for AI training. The bear case: Trump wants to break them up and search is getting disrupted. For diamond hands willing to wait, this risk/reward looks absolutely nuclear.

DJT Pump & Dump Alert Trump Media authorized a $400M buyback despite generating $821k in quarterly revenue and posting $32M losses. This is pure wealth extraction using the previous $2.5B dilution cash. The math is so regarded it's almost beautiful - they're literally buying back shares with money they raised by selling shares. Classic meme stock endgame.

CRCL: Circle's $300 Death March Circle's disbelief rally hits $293, approaching that psychological $300 barrier we've been tracking. From IPO pricing around $30 to current levels - this 10x move has one user capitulating: "No longer fighting CRCL. Take me to 300 daddy." The stablecoin infrastructure play continues defying gravity with 20% daily moves despite that 1,800+ P/E ratio we flagged.

🖥️ TECH CORNER

Tesla's Robotaxi Comedy Hour Tesla's "robotaxi launch" was peak theater - 10 cars with human drivers in a confined area, dropping passengers in intersections. Meanwhile, Google's Waymo operates autonomously across multiple cities with Uber-level ridership in SF. Tesla gained 8%  proving that with enough ketamine, even investors think human drivers are robots. Elon's probably celebrating with 8 balls of the good stuff.

AI Military Integration Accelerating: Big tech got military status with US Army appointing Palantir, Meta, and OpenAI execs as Lt. Colonels. War pushing all nations into AI arms race - missiles are yesterday's weapons. Bullish for entire AI ecosystem.

🛰️ SPACE & FUTURE TECH WATCH

RKLB: Defense Pivot Gaining Steam Rocket Lab's transformation into a defense play continues gaining institutional traction. Geopolitical tensions are driving military spending, and "RKLB to the dome! It is a defense stock now!" The narrative shift from space meme to defense contractor is unlocking serious institutional interest as we predicted.

ASTS: The Generational Space Play Keeps Printing AST SpaceMobile continues its nuclear run with diamond-handed legends. . This satellite-to-smartphone connectivity monster has moved beyond meme status into legitimate institutional territory. The India contract momentum from our previous coverage is accelerating into genuine retirement-level gains.

💰 FINTECH & CRYPTO

Bitcoin's $100K Floor Holding Like a Unit Despite Iran launching missiles at US bases, Bitcoin held above $100K like an absolute champion. MicroStrategy added another 245 BTC at $105,856 average, bringing total holdings to 592,345 BTC. Saylor's targeting 25% BTC yield by 2025 while whales buy negative news and sell positive news as retail panics.

Institutional Crypto Flows Unstoppable $1.2 billion flowed into Bitcoin and Ethereum funds in the latest week - the tenth consecutive week of inflows. Bitcoin dominated with $1.1 billion, while Ethereum attracted $124 million in its longest inflow streak since 2021. Institutions treating crypto as legitimate portfolio hedge, not speculation.

GENIUS Act Creating Stablecoin Clarity Federal stablecoin rules requiring 1:1 reserves and audits are legitimizing the space while potentially creating yield restrictions benefiting Bitcoin. Smart money positioning: "Stables for spending, Bitcoin for treasuries." This regulatory clarity we've been tracking is finally materializing.

🔥 MARKET CHAOS & OPPORTUNITIES

Iran Strikes = Market Yawns Iran launched six missiles at US bases in Qatar after the US bombed their nuclear facilities. Markets barely flinched - oil down 5%, S&P up, 10Y yields down. This "globally approved nothingburger" shows markets are completely desensitized to geopolitical theater.

Fed Officials Pushing Rate Cuts Three Fed governors calling for rate cuts as employment weakens. If oil stays down from Iran situation resolving, rate cut probability increases dramatically. This could catalyst the next leg up across risk assets after Powell's hawkish pivot we covered previously.